Our Adoption Story

Transcript

Good morning so CJ asked us to share just a little bit about the adoption journey that we’ve been on over the last four years and how we’ve seen God at work in that and how we’ve seen his timing in that. So many things we probably could share but we tried to pick out some things that we thought just kind of illustrated how God has been at work. We thought we would start this morning just by sharing how we got to adoption in the first place and you know even before we got married this was something that we talked about. Even then God was kind of working on our hearts with that and kind of making us open to maybe that was a way that he would want to grow our family and one of the verses that kind of stood out to me that’s kind of come up over the years as Ephesians 1:3-6 which says “Praise be to the God and father of our Lord Jesus Christ who has blessed us in heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ in accordance with his pleasure and will to the praise of his glorious grace which he has freely given us in the one he loves.”

So you know one of the things that we’ve always talked about is what an amazing picture of our spiritual adoption into the family of Christ that adopting in an earthly sense is and from the very beginning that was kind of something that was always on our radar. We got married and like a lot of couples you know we took a few years just to kind of be married and and not worry about kids and stuff and and so then we decided to start trying to have kids and we tried for a little while we didn’t have any success and so then we struggled with infertility. We went through a lot of that process of going to the doctors and going through that and in the middle of that process you know we just really senseed God saying stop; you know this is not the way I want you to do this and even in the midst of that we just felt like God was saying that adoption was the way that we needed to go. The whole process as you can imagine was very spiritually and emotionally draining and so we really didn’t do anything for a couple of years – we just kind of were still and even in that time we talked a lot about adoption we knew that that was the way that we needed to go and it was just a question of the timing of that.

So in 2011 just a number of things that seemed to come to confluence – it had just sort of bubbled back up in our hearts and there were sort of some divine appointments where people just kind of nudged us in the right direction with that. We had friends just say stuff to us and and God spoke through that. He spoke to us in prayer and and so we said okay we think the time is here we need to do this and so then the question was where right? So as we prayed about it the kind of principle that came to our hearts in this was start with where God has given you relationships and connections and so in the midst of that I had a connection with Catholic Social Services. I’ve worked with their director on some projects in the past and stuff and so I reached out to him and of course he was excited for us and they were happy to meet with us and so we went to their offices. We met with them and this lady who I kind of called the Yoda of adoption because she’d been doing it for like 40 years and she just was happy to tell us like everything we needed to know and she went through all of the ups and the downs and the good and the bad with us. At the end of that conversation though she said you know I’ll be honest with you like you do not need to probably adopt here Montgomery – she said there’s just not a lot of kids being put up for adoption she and said you will be waiting a very very long time. She gave us a list of other adoption agencies that they had worked with that she knew were reputable and were good and we sat down and we looked at them on the internet.

One of them in particular that stood out to us was an agency called Lifeline and we really loved them because they were very much Christ-centered and they were very much about sharing the gospel not only with the parents who were adopting but also they were about ministering and sharing the gospel and taking care of the the birth parents too and so we arranged an appointment with them. It’s just one of those sort of divine appointment kind of things – we met with them and everything kind of felt right and we literally we stepped out of the front door the agency after all the interviews and stuff when we went up there and we looked at each other and we both said at the same time “this is the place” and so that kind of started our adoption journey with this agency. It’s a pretty long entailed process – you start out with a lot of interviews with social workers and you get some training and there’s training interviews and background checks and and you’re fingerprinted. I promise we could probably like work at the Pentagon right now we’ve been checked so much and before you really start the process of actually being shown there is a form called the desired child forum and it is probably nine pages long and it is item-by-item things that you will accept and you won’t accept in a child things as benign and trivial as if the child had a birthmark on their face all the way up to whether you would accept a child with things as serious a severe medical issues. Some things we really had to pray through and really struggled with and and then part of that was we got to the part about race and we had always just assumed that because we’re Caucasian we would have Caucasian children but because of our pastor and the book he wrote and the things he was teaching and we had the influence of some other of our friends we prayed and we realized that if we if there were different races that we said no we want to we won’t consider this we’re closing a door to what God might do for us, we’re closing a door to the child that God might have for us.

As we got through that process we just decided that our our arms were pretty much open wide and whatever God had for us is what we wanted and one of the verses that that God really put in my heart during that time was in 1st Samuel and God really spoke and said no man looks on the outside of things but God looks at the heart and in that moment I knew that that the heart was the most important thing and I started praying for my child’s heart at that point and the child that God had for us in a child. So the process starts with you finishing that form, turning that in and making a profile book. It’s kind of like a yearbook but it’s about who you are as a family, the things you like to do, your faith in Christ, your family, your friends, and tons and tons of pictures. The birth parents can get anywhere from twenty to thirty of these books at a time and they pick one and so you can you can guess that it’s a long process because if every birth parent gets 20 or 30 couples and they only pick one you’re gonna get shown a lot and so we actually went through this process of the the calls and of having the profile seen sixty eight times and we didn’t realize at the time that that Lifeline had changed their policy but they they had a policy where the longest waiting person if you were in the agency and the longest person shown you got bumped up and there was this longest waiting list. So every single time we got shot down and were called or we were emailed and we got a no what we didn’t realize is that was bumping us higher and higher on the list and that’s exactly what happened in the wind up is that we were on the very tippy top of the longest waiting list and that list doesn’t get used very often but that’s where we found ourselves to be when we eventually got the call.

I would just say that during the four years that we were waiting you know we waited with perfect unwavering faith and we never doubted 🙂 – no that’s not true – we doubted a lot and we struggled a lot over four years with this and there were times when we wondered of we heard God wrong and maybe we’re not supposed to adopt, maybe we’re not supposed to have kids, and there were times even that we didn’t doubt adopting but we wondered if we were with the wrong agency and we would meet people who had gone with another agency and their adoption had happened in like you three months or something and so you’re like ah you know we’ve been waiting years and so we struggled through a lot of that stuff and a couple of scriptures that I think spoke to me in the waiting a lot one was Isaiah 40:31 which I think most everybody knows – “But those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary and they shall walk and not be faint.” This definitely felt like a marathon at times it felt like we were kind of running a race and we would get tired at times and stuff and then God would send stuff to rejuvenate us sometimes – it was a verse sometimes, it was prayer, sometimes it was people. Another verse that really spoke to me during that time and it has spoken to me really often all through my life is Proverbs 3:5-6 which is “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding but in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.”

So one of the stories that you know kind of comes to mind just of how God worked in this is that every time we would doubt, God would send something into our path that just sort of affirmed. Sometimes it was little, sometimes it was big, but just sort of affirmed hey you were right where you’re supposed to be you and just need to wait on me and I mean I remember there was a week where we were starting to talk about maybe we’re in the wrong place you know maybe we need to look at this agency in Atlanta. People are going through this agency in Atlanta and they’re getting getting these really fast adoptions through them and maybe we’re not in the right place and I mean we’re struggling with it and praying about it that week and stuff and I remember we were at lunch at Olive Garden and we bumped into someone that we knew at Olive Garden and they asked about the adoption and stuff and they asked what agency were with and then they just told us this just amazing story about someone that they knew that had gone through this agency we were already at and had gone through their placements and stuff and it’s like okay God we know you’re just kind of telling us I hang in and we’re in the right place. You know it’s funny because I mean this is not a big agency and this agency probably places 30-40 kids a year and this is a very small nonprofit Christian agency so the odds of you bumping into somebody at random if you had dealt with them is probably close to zero but you know God just gave us those kinds of little affirmations all the way along the way. Like Fran said we for about three years of this process were operating under the assumption that if we don’t get picked we’re not gonna get a child but little did we know that the agency was in the background sort of thinking about changing their process and they had decided to create this longest waiting list and we did not find out about that until last summer and that was a huge encouragement but it’s just neat looking back now and we see God’s timing in this.

You know all this time we were getting rejected and all this time God was setting this up so that we would get to the top of this list right at the time that David was going to be put up for adoption and we’ll get to that story in just a little bit for me at least. There isn’t one scripture I can just pull out and say God really encouraged me through this it was more of a general sense through prayer and Bible study and people and and things going on but about maybe a year and a half ago I had a lot of girlfriends start just giving me baby things that were having yard sales or whatever and they would just give me things and the nursery started kind of having things in it and I guess about five months ago or four months ago God just put just a desire in my heart to want to actually buy things for the baby and because for the last four years it was depressing and it was kind of sad to buy baby things and have them in the room and then there’s not a baby there and a short time ago I actually got hired for a small part-time job and Chris and I talked about well what do we do with the money and God really kind of put on both of our hearts – hey let’s let’s buy things for the baby and so with no baby in sight and no expectation of a child soon we just decided to step out in faith and just literally spent every single penny that I made on things for the nursery.

Little did we know that I started that job at the beginning of February and David was born March 30th we could not have known that was simply God just putting it on our hearts and reaffirming – you know I have this ,I’m getting you prepared but we couldn’t have known that and then there was the last baby right before David was one that in my heart I really wanted and and I don’t know if that was just because God was getting me ready to be a mother or what but when we got the call it was a no it was it was devastating for me and I remember driving and on the radio this TobyMac song came out called move on. I think it’s called move on and it talks about being in the middle of a circumstance where your dreams are passing by you and you don’t see God answering your prayers and you’re in the middle of just despair and it tells you to keep moving, just keep moving, that God is doing something. He is going to answer your prayer – you just have to keep moving and keep looking up and that song encouraged me so much and I was literally weeping driving and God just spoke in that moment. It was Wednesday, April the 6th and my phone rings while I’m at work and it’s Fran and you know she tells me hey you know we’ve got this profile that’s come up and they really need an answer like worst case in the morning but they really wanted it today and so you know I told her yeah I’ll go look at it. Let’s pray about it this afternoon and then maybe tonight we can talk about it and just just see what sense we have – if we need to be shown on this one or if we need to pass it up and and I hung up with Fran and you know what kind of what went through my mind was you know we’ve been through this dozens and dozens of times before right and so you know I didn’t think a whole lot about it I went back to what I was doing at work and I think at lunch I opened up the profile and read through it and prayed about it and and just had a sense that you know everything was was good with this profile and and we definitely wanted to be considered on it.

I just kind of at that point just went about my day and I texted Fran and said I really feel like this profile is good ,I don’t know how you’re feeling about it and she responded back and said you know I I really kind of think it’s good too but we agreed to meet at Starbucks before church so we’d have a little time to talk about it and we could you know call the adoption agency and let them know. Again this was a process we’ve been through sixty something times before and so you know we just we didn’t think a whole lot about it at the time so I got to Starbucks I sat down across from Chris and said what do you think he said I think we should do it – I think we should be shown on this one and so I said well I think we should too he said well why don’t you just call the social worker right now and I’m like right now? So I call the social worker and I’m talking to her and I say you know what we want to be shown on this one and she goes oh honey I must not have explained it well enough because there is no showing on this we’re not going to send your profile book to the birth mom. You see she asked the agency to choose a family for her and we went to the longest waiting list you’re at the top – if you want this baby he’s yours and at that point I start boo-hooing in the middle of Starbucks but had to show this picture – so we’re both like going to pieces in the middle of Starbucks and people are staring at us. I’m muttering under my breath are you telling me I’m a mom do you mean I’m a mom and at that point Chris takes the phone because I’m a blubbering idiot at that point and he starts talking about okay what do we do next? What’s the next step and we get ready to go to Georgia and so that was a Wednesday. We actually joked with our social worker because you know April Fool’s had just been a few days before and I asked if this was an April Fool’s joke.

So we make plans and it was a Wednesday and we went to Georgia on Monday and we got David on Tuesday so it’s amazing – it happened really fast after four years of waiting. You know all of this happened in just about four days and just been amazing to see God’s timing in it and amazing to know that every single time we got a call or we got a message – we’re sorry they picked someone else, every single solitary note led to this one yes. If it hadn’t been for all of those no’s when this birth mom said we want the agency to pick a familythey wouldn’t have called us and would have called someone. I mean that’s just God’s hand – so this is David and this is the result of four years of waiting and you know it’s funny one of the things that I remember another couple sharing with us like five years ago back when we first started the process was that they said you’re gonna feel like as you going through this process that you’re missing your child you know every time somebody says no, every time something falls through, they said don’t worry about that – you’re gonna have exactly the child God had for you and exactly the time he had it and as turned out to be exactly true.

I mean David really is exactly what God had for us and we were so excited to have him and the timing – there’s a lot of things we didn’t really want to try to go into here but I mean there’s just so many things about God’s timing in this like God brought us to a point where we were financially prepared, where we were logistically prepared, and where we were emotionally prepared and we look back at it now and if it had happened like 18 months ago we probably wouldn’t have been ready on all of those fronts. So it has just been so amazing to see and you know this little guy who you know just fits into our family so well he is such a McCorkle! I mean it’s incredible he is just like his daddy I mean he is the most low-key the most even killed little guy. He’s so patient and he’s just like Chris and we are over the moon about him and so blessed and so excited just to watch him grow up and see what God has in store for him. So thanks for letting us share with you this morning and just sharing really not about us really but about what God has done and we are so thankful – just so amazed at his faithfulness over the last four years and in what we’ve been through